Typical

Now that I'm a stripper, I can pretty much tell who else is, too.

The following things usually give it away. Yes, it's stereotypical, but most of the time, I'm usually right:

-Tall shoes - high heels or platforms 24/7.

-Expensive name brand sunglasses, purses, jeans, etc.

-Salon-fresh hair - cut, colored, styled, done up. Frequent salon visits.

-Good quality makeup, sometimes too much of it or unnecessary fake lashes.

-Acrylic fingernails, french-tipped toes. Frequent salon visits.

-Over-tanned or fake-tanned.

-The way they carry themselves.

-The way they look at themselves in the mirror, or any reflection, like a store or car window.

-The way they talk to others.

-Fake tits, on top of the rest of my checklist, are a dead giveaway.

I see these girls at the gym a lot. (And of course they're at the gym.) My personal trainer, who is also a strip club addict, confirms my predictions.

And like I said - I'm usually right.

It's kind of funny.

Note: I am not a stereotypical stripper. Which is why customers like me. Well, except for the depression, security, confidence, and daddy issues. Hmm, maybe I am a stereotype.